An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
There are several assumptions that are very poorly made based on no particular veritable cause that can be treated as an ultimate worthy justification. First, the international development organization has innovated a new genetically engineered breed of millet that is high in Vitamin A, which are supposed to help the people in Tagus to fight deficiency in Vitamin A. But however, the assumption made that people will readily adapt to the new variety since other breeds of millet is already a staple food of Tagus, does not make proper sense. There is no verification that the newly biological invention an successfully be adopted by the people. There needs to be reliable experimental results proving that they are actually adaptive as a food source to the people and can effectively help them recover from the vitamin deficiency.
Additionally, the fact that these seeds cost more is not helpful for the situation, as it has already been noted that people in the nation are impoverished, implying that they do not have enough food and suffer from hunger. Since they are not strong enough, it is not likely that they will be able to work hard on the farming process of the new breed of millet seeds implantation. Although the recommendation claims that they will offer subsidies to the farmers for working, the load of work to produce sufficient number of vitamins will be huge since it requires a lot of the fields to be cultivated for farming them. There is the serious need of available lands to be used for cultivation, and we are not informed if Tagus has a flush of land to provide for farming.
Many might argue that these are issues that can be solved within a certain amount of provided time, only if the government is serious to take the matter of curing the deficiency of Vitamin A in the population and promotes activities on behalf of this matter more importantly than others at the moment. But I believe that the government should be more concerned with the fact that they need to fight poverty and remove famine from the nation, more importantly than anything else right now. Poverty, also indicates other national problems such as unemployment, inhospitable environments, lack of hygiene, children suffering from malnutrition etc. which are rather more important than the issue of Vitamin A deficiency.
I would like to conclude that the government should not take the assumptions presented in the assumption as seriously as it is implicated.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2016 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.87 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.776 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.137 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.598 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 370, Rule ID: BUT_NEVERTHELESS[1]
Message: Use simply 'But'.
Suggestion: But
...Tagus to fight deficiency in Vitamin A. But however, the assumption made that people will r...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 606, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ion that the newly biological invention an successfully be adopted by the people. ...
^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e to work hard on the farming process of the new breed of millet seeds implantati...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much might', 'a good deal of might'.
Suggestion: Much might; A good deal of might
...sh of land to provide for farming. Many might argue that these are issues that can be...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2065.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 414.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98792270531 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85493349997 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51690821256 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.6874019388 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.5 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.5714285714 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.71428571429 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361175899624 0.218282227539 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113085923226 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.096393854753 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174474664042 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123408861718 0.0628817314937 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.9071856287 143% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.