Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range.
Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Many developed educational systems in the entire world make their students study some particular subjects when they are fifteen years old, while others want their students to study several ones. In my opinion, I completely believe that studying a wide range has some advantages, but the benefits of studying some specific subjects can overshadow those advantages.
It will be beneficial if fifteen-year-old students study some particular subjects that are their enjoyments. When students learn a few essential subjects when they are young, they can know their interest as soon as possible. They, moreover, can develop their excitement when they consume their time in their studying time and make their learning subjects become their passions. As a result, in the future, their time will be saved when they have to choose the essential option that is keeping countinuously learning in university or college or stopping learning and starting working. In fact, there are several famous individuals in the past, who focused on their interesting subjects when they are young. Mozart is an example.
If fifteen-year-old students, furthermore, have to learn a wide range of essential subjects, they can broaden their horizons. They, thus, can have a great deal amount of useful knowledge. However, many of them are difficult to find their excitement in some specific subjects. Their passions, therefore, are hard to be created. As the result, when they have to choose the influential choices, they might waste their time. However, students can develop their creative skills if they learn a wide range of subjects. Taking Mark, founder of Facebook, is an example.
To sum up, studying a range of subjects after the age of 15 leads to fewer results in general .I totally agree that educational systems should require their students to study some influential subjects such as students’ enjoyable subjects and healthy subjects. If students do not need to consume their time and their efforts in some subjects, which are not important for students, they can grow more effectively.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...are fifteen years old, while others want their students to study several ones. In...
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... of 15 leads to fewer results in general .I totally agree that educational systems...
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Suggestion: I
...f 15 leads to fewer results in general .I totally agree that educational systems ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, while, in fact, in general, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 24.0651302605 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1746.0 1615.20841683 108% => OK
No of words: 330.0 315.596192385 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29090909091 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79313733311 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.484848484848 0.561755894193 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 524.7 506.74238477 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.10420841683 333% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.9877178627 49.4020404114 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.705882353 106.682146367 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4117647059 20.7667163134 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 7.06120827912 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245182737818 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0952975525132 0.084324248473 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118237380453 0.0667982634062 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220567665107 0.151304729494 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.143370356066 0.056905535591 252% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 13.0946893788 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 50.2224549098 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.4159519038 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.58950901804 92% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 78.4519038076 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.