Q2 : Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Recently, the impact of celebrities' assistance, such as donations, on individual people has become the subject of the heated debate. Some people assert that influencers can contribute to an increase in the level of attention to social problems by supporting charities, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that public figures supporting socially disadvantaged people can negatively affect individuals do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that some entertainers often exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing ordinary people to become less interested in social issues. To exemplify, Kim Ki-Hun who is a singer in South Korea patronised a charitable organisation in 2015, which enabled him to achieve fame. However, according to an article released by the Seoul Times, it turned out that the main reason for his donation was receiving tax waivers. Given these points, some people hold the view that famous people can worsen the essence of support.
My opinion, however, is that renowned people's help towards charitable foundations exerts a beneficial effect on the masses. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that not only can celebrities inform everyday people of the importance of assistance, but they are also able to raise awareness amongst the public. In addition, a multitude of fans of public figures have a predisposition to participate in financial aid when their idols partake in it. As an illustration, Lionel Messi spent approximately 3 million US dollars on a charitable institution in South Africa to deal with global hunger in 2018, which made it possible for his keen supporters across the globe to pay attention to the dangers of poverty, leading them to donate around 5 million US dollars. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that celebrities' aid brings with it positives for the reasons discussed above.
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2022-08-08 | idid382021 | 89 | view |
2022-08-03 | hellielts | 89 | view |
2022-07-28 | hellielts | 89 | view |
2022-07-28 | hellielts | 89 | view |
2021-09-19 | idid382002 | 89 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an undesirable way" with adverb for "undesirable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ers often exploit charitable activities in an undesirable way, causing ordinary people to become less...
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Line 5, column 815, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that celebrit...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 10.4138276553 10% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 24.0651302605 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 41.998997996 136% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1896.0 1615.20841683 117% => OK
No of words: 358.0 315.596192385 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29608938547 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97161545693 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 176.041082164 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.628491620112 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 506.74238477 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.307329859 49.4020404114 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.5 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.375 20.7667163134 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.375 7.06120827912 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264968890017 0.244688304435 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0758384970978 0.084324248473 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0722737715972 0.0667982634062 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153689612106 0.151304729494 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0567159034584 0.056905535591 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 13.0946893788 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.4159519038 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.8 8.58950901804 114% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 78.4519038076 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.