“Of the two leading real estate firms in our town – Adams Realty and Fitch Realty – Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams’ revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch’s $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: Ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams.”
In the argument, the author has compared two leading real estate firms – Adams Realty and Fitch Realty and concluded that Adams Realty is superior and one should contact them if they want to sell their house quickly and at good price. However, the author’s argument is based on many assumptions which weakens his conclusion.
Firstly, the author stated that Adams has 40 real estate agents while Fitch has 25 real estate agents, many of which works part time. Here, the author has related the number of real estate agents in the firm to the success or superiority of the firm. However, this might not be true. The efficiency of the real estate agents at the Fitch might be higher than agents at Adams. Some might think that company will only hire more agents if they have more work. However, this relation is not directly proportional and cannot be proven without more information. Therefore, the author needs to provide proper basis for efficiency of every agent and amount of work at each firm before making any conclusion.
Secondly, the author has compared the revenue of last year of both the firms. Though, Adam’s revenue for the last year is twice than Fitch’s, we cannot prove the superiority of one over another on the basis of the data of only one year. At least last 5-10 years of revenue data should be compared, before jumping to the conclusion. Moreover, the author compared the home sales of the firms, in which Adam was leading. However, only home sales are not enough to infer the overall sales of the firm and thus, undermines the author’s conclusion.
The other argument author has provided is homes which are listed at Adam’s sells faster than Fitch. The author has given example of himself. He stated that ten years ago, when he listed his house with Fitch, it took four and half months to sell while last year when he listed another house with Adam, it took only one month to sell the house. Here, the author has not disclosed the selling price of the house. It might be possible that though Fitch took more time than Adam, but they had provided a better deal for the house. Moreover, you do not know the demand for the houses now and ten years ago. Therefore, this argument needs to be corroborated with the trends of house demand and dealing price.
In conclusion, the author has taken many assumptions for making the conclusion. The author needs to provide relevant data and information to strengthen his argument.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 1961 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.603 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.137 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.522 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.647 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.365 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5