To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Since there is no specific definition for the most important characteristics of a society, different people will have different ones in mind. Plus, different societies have different ones. Therefore, to illustrate my point of view on this topic, I am taking China and my understanding of its most important characteristics as an example. As for China, its most important characteristics are: the tremendous impact of Guanxi (the system of social networks in China), collectivism, and ethical standards regulated by Confucianism, such as filial piety. Some of these characters are better represented in small towns while others are bolstered in major cities. Nonetheless, they are all displayed in both major cities and small regions. Therefore, to understand the most important characteristics of a society, one does not have to study its major cities. And I do not agree with the statement.
Some essential characteristics are strengthened in major cities, such as the Guanxi. This is a prevalent practice in China. People tend to use their network of connections in business and politics to make deals or achieve certain goals. As a result of Guanxi, no matter how competitive one is, if he does not have the right connection, he will likely fail. In china, the width of one’s network of Guanxi determine whether he will lose or win a competition. Guanxi is closely bounded to competition. The more extreme the practice of Guanxi, the more intense the competition is. Major cities have the most intensive competition in general. Consequently, studying major cities can help one understand the profound influence Guanxi practice has in the society more readily. However, competition is everywhere. So, Guanxi practice exists everywhere in China. Therefore, though major cities help enhance one’s understanding of this significant characteristic, one does not have to study major cities to acquire that.
On the other hand, some major characteristics are weakened in major cities, such as some of the traditional ethical standards set by Confucianism. In major cities, due to the overall development and imported foreign cultures, many beliefs of people has been changing. In China, affected by Confucianism, the elderly in a family have a high status and have the most respect. Younger people tend to listen to the elderly while making important decisions. Good or bad, this practice has been one of the most important properties in China. The smaller the region, the stronger the character. In cities, influenced by the technology and diverse cultures, younger people are not willing to let the elderly to interfere with their decisions and life. They are also not respectful to the aged people as the people did decades ago. So, if one wants to understand how filial piety is displayed in the society, the better choice is smaller towns rather than major cities.
In conclusion, depending on one’s understanding of the most important characteristics of a society, many of them are well represented in both major cities and small areas, such as collectivism and relatively conservatism compared to western culture in China. Some of the characteristics are strengthened in major cities; yet, they also play their role in all other small areas. Moreover, for some significant characteristics, such as the traditional features, small towns are a better choice than major cities considering the external influence. Hence, to understand the most important characteristics of a society, one does not have to study its major cities.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. Don't try to argue in both side. Only support/against in one side. Try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Suppose we support side A.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example of reason 1 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1).
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example of reason 2 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 2 or comparisons if not reason 2).
paragraph 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. First, ... Second, .... However, there is no causation/relation.... I still support side A. first,....second...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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2. Don't start to discuss the ideas from the introduction paragraph.
3. The introduction and conclusion paragraphs are too long. Make them shorter but make essay body longer. follow this user:
http://www.testbig.com/users/sauvikb
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 561 350
No. of Characters: 2884 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.867 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.141 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.061 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 206 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.777 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.606 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.424 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Thank you very much! Will
Thank you very much! Will revise it accordingly.
regarding the wording "must"
regarding the wording "must" in the prompt, should we argue on this? I mean, it says we "must" study major cities, but does not say "only" study major cities. So, I think i should argue that for some of the peoperties of a society, one does not have to study major cities. for example, the United States is a country with diversity. For this characcteristics, you dont HAVE TO study new york city, you can tell from the minor cities or small towns.
Thank you!
Maybe you ignored 'the most
Maybe you ignored 'the most important characteristics of a society'. It is not 'some characteristics of a society'.
So, does this prompt imply
So, does this prompt imply that one should only study major cities?
There are not only one "most important characteristics" , some of them exists in both major cities and small towns, such as some social values. That is why I mentioned that some of the most important characteristics does not necessarily result from studying major cities. What I am confused about is "must". Thank you!
Let's read the topic again:
Let's read the topic again:
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
now the topic wants to set up a connection between 'the most important characteristics of a society' to 'major cities'. and it used 'must'. now suppose we don't agree. so we just need to prove there is no such a connection between 'the most important characteristics of a society' to 'major cities'. There is no 'must'. but how?
again, we call TLPE:
T: time. 'the most important characteristics of a society' may change in 'major cities' as time goes on. for example, people in China drive a car to work nowadays, but they ride bicycles to company 30 years ago.
L: location. because of globalization, major cities behave the same. for example, what is the great difference in clothing between New York and Paris?
P: people. because of immigration. There are lot of different communities in all major cities. It is easy to understand this by major cities from U.S or Canada, even we can see it from Beijing, or Tehran....
E: events. let's talk about technology in communications. (Yes, Internet is always a good topic for Events). People use phone or talk face to face in major cities before, but how about today? people use messengers like Viber, Weixin... even between husbands and wives...
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yes, you are right that "most important characteristics" may exist in both major cities and small towns, or only in small villages. so there is no 'must'. You can make an argument by this too.
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Let us know if this can clear your questions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 85, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...s are weakened in major cities, such as some of the traditional ethical standards set by Co...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 265, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...m compared to western culture in China. Some of the characteristics are strengthened in maj...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'consequently', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'nonetheless', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'well', 'while', 'as for', 'in conclusion', 'in general', 'such as', 'as a result', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.221198156682 0.240241500013 92% => OK
Verbs: 0.133640552995 0.157235817809 85% => OK
Adjectives: 0.133640552995 0.0880659088768 152% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0599078341014 0.0497285424764 120% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0276497695853 0.0444667217837 62% => OK
Prepositions: 0.115207373272 0.12292977631 94% => OK
Participles: 0.0353302611367 0.0406280797675 87% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.17163947583 2.79330140395 114% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0276497695853 0.030933414821 89% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.101382488479 0.0997080785238 102% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00614439324117 0.0249443105267 25% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.00307219662058 0.0148568991511 21% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3552.0 2732.02544248 130% => OK
No of words: 561.0 452.878318584 124% => OK
Chars per words: 6.33155080214 6.0361032391 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86676880123 4.58838876751 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.397504456328 0.366273622748 109% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.299465240642 0.280924506359 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.224598930481 0.200843997647 112% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.174688057041 0.132149295362 132% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.17163947583 2.79330140395 114% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 219.290929204 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.413547237077 0.48968727796 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.4709853993 55.4138127331 87% => OK
How many sentences: 33.0 20.6194690265 160% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.380412469 73% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2761299824 59.4972553346 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.636363636 141.124799967 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0 23.380412469 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.545454545455 0.674092028746 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.94800884956 81% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.21349557522 38% => OK
Readability: 46.9465240642 51.4728631049 91% => OK
Elegance: 1.68055555556 1.64882698954 102% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.4841240039 0.391690518653 124% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.122935790934 0.123202303941 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0976529764978 0.077325440228 126% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.454208254145 0.547984918172 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.12912521283 0.149214159877 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.186488172381 0.161403998019 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0943277558082 0.0892212321368 106% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.519251059183 0.385218514788 135% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0432763400589 0.0692045440612 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.388873140382 0.275328986314 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0382693808782 0.0653680567796 59% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 10.4325221239 192% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.30420353982 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88274336283 184% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 15.0 7.22455752212 208% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 3.66592920354 82% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.70907079646 185% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 13.5995575221 169% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.