Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the argument mentioned, the author referred to a recently completed study that shows how more healthy are the people who live in stairs-only apartments compared to the people who live in apartments and use elevators. In his build of the argument, the author made some assumptions to solve to his conclusions that are questionable of their representativity of the effect stairs have on people of different ages.
first, we see that the author pointed to results of the study such as the frequency in which an elderly visit the doctor and the average life time of people who use stairs compared to those who use elevators. In such evidences, question has to be raised about the financial status of every participant in this study. that is, in general, affluent people are more likely to be living in apartments with elevators than the less wealthy people, therefore, if the study is made on people who are chosen only on the basis of the kind of apartment they live in regardless the financial state of them, it is likely that the study contains more wealthy people in the category of apartments with elevators and less wealthy people in the category of stairs-only apartments. so, In such a case, it would be obvious that for example more wealthy people would have the financial ability to make visits to the doctors more than the less wealthy, and also wealthy people are would be more likely to have a healthy lifestyles as they are able to subscribe in fitness programs of health programs than poor people and this would be the cause of the results of the study, not the effect of the usage of stairs.
Moreover, the author also did not mention the nature of the study in terms of the place where it took place and the number of people observed in it. it is probable that the study was conducted in two different areas, for example in villages and cities, given that people living in stairs-only apartments are easily found in villages and the people who live in apartments which have elevators are more easily found in cities. In such case, the reason behind the more healthy indications in the lifestyles of persons who live in stairs-only apartments wouldn't be the usage of the stairs as concluded in the argument, instead, it would be the nature of the life in the village, where people are exposed to pure air and are less stressed than people who live in cities. so, it is important for such a study to be made in one place where people live in one environment to be more reliable.
In conclusion, at the first glance, it may seem that the conclusions made by the author are plausible and veracious. Nevertheless, a deeper look at the study which the author relied on to deduce these conclusions, it may seem questionable in terms of the way it where conducted. More facts about the conduction of the study would make the argument more substantiated and cogent. that is, the people observed must be very close in the lifestyle and only differ in the usage of the stairs.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2412 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.568 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 52.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.172 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.497 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.704 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.228 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs have on people of different ages. first, we see that the author pointed to...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 6, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...ve on people of different ages. first, we see that the author pointed to resu...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 143, Rule ID: LIFE_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lifetime'?
Suggestion: lifetime
...lderly visit the doctor and the average life time of people who use stairs compared to th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...tus of every participant in this study. that is, in general, affluent people are mor...
^^^^
Line 3, column 770, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...the category of stairs-only apartments. so, In such a case, it would be obvious th...
^^
Line 3, column 1005, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'lifestyle'?
Suggestion: lifestyle
... would be more likely to have a healthy lifestyles as they are able to subscribe in fitnes...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t the effect of the usage of stairs. Moreover, the author also did not mentio...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...sons who live in stairs-only apartments wouldnt be the usage of the stairs as concluded...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 772, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...tressed than people who live in cities. so, it is important for such a study to be...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...one environment to be more reliable. In conclusion, at the first glance, it m...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 385, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...argument more substantiated and cogent. that is, the people observed must be very cl...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, therefore, as to, for example, in conclusion, in general, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 88.0 55.5748502994 158% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2464.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 527.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67552182163 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79129216042 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6003406252 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.358633776091 0.468620217663 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 800.1 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 37.0 22.8473053892 162% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 113.741045846 57.8364921388 197% => OK
Chars per sentence: 176.0 119.503703932 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 37.6428571429 23.324526521 161% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.28571428571 5.70786347227 163% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.373318124551 0.218282227539 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137972268251 0.0743258471296 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111073481165 0.0701772020484 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.249574823399 0.128457276422 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105354496302 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 14.3799401198 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.38 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.5 12.197005988 135% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.46 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.8 11.1389221557 151% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.9071856287 143% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.