The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Modern society constantly stimulated the society members to be their best version and stay motivated at all times. Every professional field constantly ponder upon whether cooperation or competition is the key curriculum to promote better learning. Despite the equivalently vehement voices from both sides, it is irrefutable that the cooperation is the best way for a society to prepare its young members for future leadership.
Foremost, we must acknowledge that being a "leader" is susbtantially different from being a "boss". While a "boss" is characterized by dictatorship and condescending attitude when it comes to listening to the group members, a "leader" is characterized by equality and accepting attitude towards the voices of its group members. To be more detailed, the leadership accompanies the leader's responsibility to well understand the group's needs and making executive decisions based on the group's best interest. For example, Google, one of the most successful IT organization in the world, is notable for its surprisingly flexible work environment. In order to promote its employees' best productivity, Google provides various types of work spaces and flexible work hours. Such unusual yet cooperative actions by Google's headquarter certainly resulted in stimulating staff's creativity and productivity, thus maintaining its prestigious fame in the IT business.
Furthermore, the leader must be instilled with a sense of cooperation for every individual acquires different strengths and weaknesses. The leadership includes the ability to establish a cooperative enviroment where different individuals are assigned to different roles, based on their strengths, then eventually come together with best partial results to compose the best final result. If one with the leadership is ignorant on the fact that every member has different skills or simply promotes negative competition among the members, the group will not only end up with poor productivity, but also detrimental conflicts within the group.
However, it is also true that positive competition exists, thus compeitive attitude may promote being a better leader. It is natural that any relationship in this world is susceptible to competitions and rivalries. Between different countries, private organizations, and any small or large groups, we are constantly competing for my group's best interest.
- Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, th 74
- The best leaders are those who encourage feedback from the people whom they lead. 70
- The following is from a memo from the advertising director of the Super screen Movie Production Company. According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other 34
- Those who see their ideas through, regardless of doubts or criticism others may express, are the ones who tend to leave a lasting legacy. 74
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 83
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 42, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...oremost, we must acknowledge that being a 'leader' is susbtantially dif...
^
Line 2, column 101, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...; is susbtantially different from being a 'boss'. While a 'boss&ap...
^
Line 2, column 126, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nt from being a 'boss'. While a 'boss' is characterized by di...
^
Line 2, column 254, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...omes to listening to the group members, a 'leader' is characterized by ...
^
Line 2, column 420, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'leaders'' or 'leader's'?
Suggestion: leaders'; leader's
...etailed, the leadership accompanies the leaders responsibility to well understand the g...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 706, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'employees the best'.
Suggestion: employees the best
...rk environment. In order to promote its employees best productivity, Google provides various t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 976, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: the; IT
...hus maintaining its prestigious fame in the IT business. Furthermore, the leader must...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the best'.
Suggestion: with the best
...trengths, then eventually come together with best partial results to compose the best fin...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, then, thus, well, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2066.0 2235.4752809 92% => OK
No of words: 355.0 442.535393258 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.81971830986 5.05705443957 115% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.45359465032 2.79657885939 123% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 215.323595506 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.577464788732 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 648.9 704.065955056 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0542195448 60.3974514979 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.733333333 118.986275619 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.93333333333 5.21951772744 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201175039056 0.243740707755 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.071390925459 0.0831039109588 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0864204912379 0.0758088955206 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127698248352 0.150359130593 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0821191274801 0.0667264976115 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.1392134831 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.21 48.8420337079 64% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.92365168539 164% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.77 12.1639044944 138% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.98 8.38706741573 119% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 100.480337079 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.7820224719 153% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.