the amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sports events Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages

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the amount of sport shown on television every week has increased significantly and this is having an impact on live sports events. Do you think the benefits of having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages?

Like other programs which we watch on TV watching live sport has its own advantages and disadvantages. But in my opinion based on below reasons it has many good points of view.

First of all by televising sports shown more people could get familiar with different kind of sports and subsequently could get more information and news about various type of sport. So they would get fond of some sport and decide to continue it professionally. As a result would have a healthy lifestyle.

Secondly, when you as an athletic like football player know that your family are watching you on the television...

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2019-10-26 Emily22 56 view
2019-10-26 Emily22 56 view
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Sentence: Secondly, when you as an athletic like football player know that your family are watching you on the television it makes to be more motivated and this could improve your efficiency.
Description: The fragment player know that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace know with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Words: 249 350

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Don't put one sentence as a paragraph. Try this pattern to have more content:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First

Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 249 350
No. of Characters: 1136 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.544 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.418 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 68 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.84 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.711 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5