Tpo 40- Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Regarding giving sons or daughters a reward like money if they have good grades in school, i think its a brilliant idea. I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explore in the following essay.
First, this will encourage children to study harder and give more attintion to their homeworks ,in addition they will be more energestic every day and not get boring from school because they know this wiil bring benefits to them. so they will spend less time in playing and engaging unuseful activities like playing computor games my personal experience is a good example of this. when i was in school my dad give me money every summer when grades of school apeared, and i use this money for buying things i want like bicycle, so this encourages me to do best i can in every stations of my journey.
Second, this teaches a lesson of life, which is hardworking and good attitude will eventualy lead to sucess and reaching your goal.Furthermore it will creat a responsable hight selfsteamed person in future.For instance when i gradute from hight school and accepted in unevesity, i managed to be wise with my money and spend it in things benefits me ,in addition i was attend my courses and study hard because i know eventualy i will be what i want to be.
In conclusion, rewarding childrens with money is a good way for sucess, this is because its encourages in study and makes a responsable man in future.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 92, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ney if they have good grades in school, i think its a brilliant idea. I feel this...
^
Line 1, column 100, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...hey have good grades in school, i think its a brilliant idea. I feel this way for t...
^^^
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explore in the following essay. ...
^
Line 7, column 95, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d give more attintion to their homeworks ,in addition they will be more energestic...
^^
Line 7, column 231, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... know this wiil bring benefits to them. so they will spend less time in playing an...
^^
Line 7, column 382, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...l experience is a good example of this. when i was in school my dad give me money ev...
^^^^
Line 7, column 387, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...erience is a good example of this. when i was in school my dad give me money ever...
^
Line 7, column 472, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...mmer when grades of school apeared, and i use this money for buying things i want...
^
Line 7, column 507, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... and i use this money for buying things i want like bicycle, so this encourages m...
^
Line 7, column 561, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...cycle, so this encourages me to do best i can in every stations of my journey. ...
^
Line 13, column 132, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Furthermore
...y lead to sucess and reaching your goal.Furthermore it will creat a responsable hight selfs...
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Line 13, column 132, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...y lead to sucess and reaching your goal.Furthermore it will creat a responsable hight selfs...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 197, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... a responsable hight selfsteamed person in future.For instance when i gradute from hight ...
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Line 13, column 207, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...able hight selfsteamed person in future.For instance when i gradute from hight scho...
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Line 13, column 280, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...hight school and accepted in unevesity, i managed to be wise with my money and sp...
^
Line 13, column 349, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...money and spend it in things benefits me ,in addition i was attend my courses and ...
^^
Line 13, column 363, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...d it in things benefits me ,in addition i was attend my courses and study hard be...
^
Line 13, column 369, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'attended'.
Suggestion: attended
...n things benefits me ,in addition i was attend my courses and study hard because i kno...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 410, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ttend my courses and study hard because i know eventualy i will be what i want to...
^
Line 13, column 427, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...and study hard because i know eventualy i will be what i want to be. In c...
^
Line 13, column 442, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...because i know eventualy i will be what i want to be. In conclusion, rewa...
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Line 19, column 141, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...es in study and makes a responsable man in future.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, regarding, second, so, for instance, i feel, i think, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1180.0 1977.66487455 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 251.0 407.700716846 62% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70119521912 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.98032404683 4.48103885553 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63636067577 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 134.0 212.727598566 63% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533864541833 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 363.6 618.680645161 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 20.6003584229 34% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 20.1344086022 174% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 114.750483526 48.9658058833 234% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 168.571428571 100.406767564 168% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.8571428571 20.6045352989 174% => OK
Discourse Markers: 14.8571428571 5.45110844103 273% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.5376344086 397% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259017502223 0.236089414692 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134590557063 0.076458572812 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654623375333 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170122401775 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069500287659 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.6 11.7677419355 158% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.87 58.1214874552 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 86.8835125448 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 10.0537634409 159% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
More content wanted.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.