In your country is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry

Essay topics:

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry?

The fact that the area cannot be utilized as natural and industrial purpose simultaneously is pitiful, which signifies that we must choose one of them. Personally, I believe that the more land should be maintained as how it is. I feel this way for three main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

Firstly, in the Mongolia, my native country, there are numerous indigenous herders who have nomadic lifestyle, and take advantage on the pasture land in order to prepare fodder for their livestock. The grassland is the crucial source of nourishment of certain domesticated animals. Therefore, employing those lands, and destroying its vegetation will be harmful for people who benefit from flora of the areas. The thousands of folks of my country will lose their opportunity of earning satisfactory livelihood. Moreover, meat supply in the urban areas will diminish, and the price of this specific market will increase significantly. Thereby, finance of every citizen will be damaged because of the industrialization.

Secondly, traveling to the countryside, and enjoying its landscape is enjoyable matters for Mongolian and foreign tourists. Needless to say, areas with factories are not able to be more beautiful than natural view. Hence, preserving these areas with its exquisite nature will provide individuals chance to enjoy the amazing features of rural areas. Moreover, it is significant to remember that tourism is one of several main factors of economy since the people who travel to the area provide the certain extent of money to the countries indirectly or directly.

Finally, population density of Mongolia is the least in the world since three million people live in the spacious space of the country. Thus, providing these people with sufficient factories and accommodation would not require great extent of land. In other words, the subtle space will be enough for buildings. Thereby, there is no need to establish excessive construction by harming the nature. To be more specific, half of Mongolian population live in the area less than one ninth of entire land. Nonetheless, this specific area seems enough for the population, their accommodation, and factories.

To sum up, I am of the opinion of the relatively larger area must be maintained naturally. This is because there are plenty of herders, the beautiful area is the main factor of tourism, and there are sufficient land for constructions.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 330, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ese ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. Firstly, in the Mongolia, my native coun...
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Line 3, column 719, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...maged because of the industrialization. Secondly, traveling to the countryside, ...
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Line 7, column 562, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o the countries indirectly or directly. Finally, population density of Mongolia ...
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Line 11, column 602, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on, their accommodation, and factories. To sum up, I am of the opinion of the re...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, hence, if, moreover, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, i feel, in fact, in other words, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2081.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 391.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32225063939 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94685984858 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549872122762 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 653.4 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.8516668751 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0952380952 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.619047619 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311637967303 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0852855651236 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0595053985843 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178133388504 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0473534043421 0.0645574589148 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.21 8.01818996416 115% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.