Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers make direct contribution to the society and so they should be paid more than people in the field of art and entertainment. But I am disagree with their statement and I think athletes and artists also make a lot of contribution to the society, directly or indirectly, and so they also should be paid fair enough.
People may think being a professional (doctor, professor or engineer etc) needs hard-work, large amount of money. But being a successful athlete or artist also requires a numbers of sacrifice, hard-work, discipline, devotion and determination. For example to become an Olympic athlete one needs to practice for years, have balance diet, struggle and sacrifice many enjoyable things in life. Similarly, story behind a popular musician or author before being successful noteworthy. That is a main reason they deserve higher pay. Secondly, artists, musician, authors and athletes are the identity and pride of the nation and they represents their nation on international games and international cultural festival. These types of contribution are not less important to the society even though they seem indirect.
Furthermore, athletes and artists might directly involve in fund-raising program, encourage people to do right things. they also conduct social awareness programs and to make a big change in the society. Likewise, Their story of handwork and discipline could be inspiration to the children and they can motivate kids to the right path. A message delivered through a great musician or sport hero is always more effective.
In conclusion, the contribution of professionals is direct and visible so some people think they are at the only great contributor of society but athletes and artists also make significant amount of contribution and therefore they also should be paid high amount of renumeration.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-09-24 | Laxman Basyal | 87 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 209, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'disagreed'.
Suggestion: disagreed
...ield of art and entertainment. But I am disagree with their statement and I think athlet...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'represent'
Suggestion: represent
...entity and pride of the nation and they represents their nation on international games and...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 120, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...m, encourage people to do right things. they also conduct social awareness programs ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, likewise, may, second, secondly, similarly, so, therefore, for example, i think, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 10.4138276553 259% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1610.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 300.0 315.596192385 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36666666667 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00293190066 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.553333333333 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 504.0 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.76152304609 21% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.3263163904 49.4020404114 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 106.682146367 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4285714286 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.35714285714 7.06120827912 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274236249546 0.244688304435 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0923743252382 0.084324248473 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.144300316915 0.0667982634062 216% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192491000672 0.151304729494 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137425212608 0.056905535591 241% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 78.4519038076 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.