The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
According to the letter the author argues that the Parkville’s children under nine should not be participated in athletic competition to several reasons; increasing injuries, psychological pressure and disadvantages in academic activities. The author’s argument seems convincing at first glance, however, lack of assumptions leads me to question the credibility of the argument.
First, assumption whether the number of the injuries and the total number of the young players under nine are significant should be affroded by the author. Exact number of the athletes under nine should be considered, because only 40,000 of young injured player cannot present the gravity of the injury problem. It is plausible that the 40,000 number of the young players might be minut, if the total number of the young players in the Parkville is numerous. Therefore author should conclude based on exact numbers.
Second, the author should presume whether the recent study is convincing or not, since there are no specific information about the interview it is too hasty for the author to believe that the result of the study is persuasive. More detail information should be afforded on the study, for example, the number of the conducted young player, the questions which young players answered, the degree of the psychological pressure they received and which kinds of pressure they have received from their coaches and parents. A recent study cannot support the author’s conclusion just because it is conducted recently.
Third, the author should assume more about how and why the sports competition hamper the young players academic activities. The reason that the author contend is weak, we should listen to not only the education experts but also the sports experts. Furthermore, more specific assumption should be afforded by the author that how much time does the sports take away which could be utilized for academic activities and how much time the children demands for the academic activities. In addition, the sports experts might stress that sports activiy and healthy competition could improve the childrens brain activity that help their academic activieis.
In summary, the author’s argument seems unconvincing on many grounds, because of weak assumptions and informations. I believe that the author should give more detail assumption, which I mentioned above, to strengthen the argument.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: First, assumption whether the number of the injuries and the total number of the young players under nine are significant should be affroded by the author.
Error: affroded Suggestion: afforded
Sentence: It is plausible that the 40,000 number of the young players might be minut, if the total number of the young players in the Parkville is numerous.
Error: minut Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In addition, the sports experts might stress that sports activiy and healthy competition could improve the childrens brain activity that help their academic activieis.
Error: activieis Suggestion: activities
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Error: activiy Suggestion: activity
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1975 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.295 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.643 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.657 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...g players in the Parkville is numerous. Therefore author should conclude based on exact n...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 60, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
...hould assume more about how and why the sports competition hamper the young players ac...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, third, for example, in addition, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2047.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48793565684 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84737936256 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466487935657 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.5028557636 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.466666667 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8666666667 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.73333333333 5.70786347227 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148577762571 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586275609124 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.052110739671 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0880651156647 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0331021772879 0.0628817314937 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.86 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.