People have different views about factors leading to people’s achievements. While I agree that material wealth and physical appearance are essential, I believe that diligence and persistence are more significant.
On the one hand, it is no doubt true that money and personal appearance play a pivotal role in attaining accomplishments. Firstly, those who were born in affluent families typically have a good foundation for their development and prosperity. For instance, they could easily start their own business without borrowing money from the bank or have a better education, which allows them to get a secure job in the future. Secondly, nowadays, it often appears that attractive appearance is of paramount importance to certain key sectors such as entertainment or fashion. Indeed, if a singer or a model is beautiful, it is possible for her to draw much attention from audiences and have greater opportunities to climb the social ladder.
On the other hand, I am of opinion that determined and industrious people are likely to have better chances of success. Perhaps the principal reason is that not everyone is fortunate enough to be born in wealthy families or to be beautiful, but by putting a great deal of effort, they could achieve their goals. The clearest example of this is that despite the absence of four limbs, Nick Vujicic learned to write by his mouth and successfully earned a bachelor degree with a double major; he is now a famous motivational speaker, traveling around the world to inspire the youth. The other reason is that major success seldom comes easily without perseverance. One of the notable examples is Thomas Edison, a well-known inventor, who conducted countless experiments and also failed thousands of times before eventually inventing the working light bulb
In conclusion, although I acknowledge that money and personal appearance significantly contribute to people’s success, I would argue that the role of being hard working and persistent is far more crucial.
People have different views about factors leading to people’s achievements. While I agree that material wealth and physical appearance are essential, I believe that diligence and persistence are more significant.
On the one hand, it is no doubt true that money and personal appearance play a pivotal role in attaining accomplishments. Firstly, those who were born in affluent families typically have a good foundation for their development and prosperity. For instance, they could easily start their own business without borrowing money from the bank or have a better education, which allows them to get a secure job in the future. Secondly, nowadays, it often appears that attractive appearance is of paramount importance to certain key sectors such as entertainment or fashion. Indeed, if a singer or a model is beautiful, it is possible for her to draw much attention from audiences and have greater opportunities to climb the social ladder.
On the other hand, I am of opinion that determined and industrious people are likely to have better chances of success. Perhaps the principal reason is that not everyone is fortunate enough to be born in wealthy families or to be beautiful, but by putting a great deal of effort, they could achieve their goals. The clearest example of this is that despite the absence of four limbs, Nick Vujicic learned to write by his mouth and successfully earned a bachelor degree with a double major; he is now a famous motivational speaker, traveling around the world to inspire the youth. The other reason is that major success seldom comes easily without perseverance. One of the notable examples is Thomas Edison, a well-known inventor, who conducted countless experiments and also failed thousands of times before eventually inventing the working light bulb
In conclusion, although I acknowledge that money and personal appearance significantly contribute to people’s success, I would argue that the role of being hard working and persistent is far more crucial.
- The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent on three different kinds of clothes per person in the US from 1985 to 2005 It is evident that women and men spend on attire more than boys and girls Besides the average expenditure on clothes grew gradua 78
- It is widely believed that national authority should raise the price of petrol to address environmental issues I strongly disagree with this idea because there are various other effective solutions It is unreasonable to raise taxes on petrol in order to m 61
- The idea that parks and outer spaces are replaced by gardens is more beneficial remains a source of controversy While there are many drawbacks of reducing the number of open spaces I strongly believe that the benefits are more remarkable On the one hand w 78
- Although it is believed that pleasure reading is a better way to improve imagination and linguistic skills I think that learning through watching TV is as effective as reading Of course reading for pleasure brings benefits to the readers When reading the 73
- The pie charts compare the water usage of various sectors of the economy in Sydney in two years 1997 and 2007 Overall it is clear that the sector which used the highest percentage of water was the food industry The percentage of total water use by the ser
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1778.0 1615.20841683 110% => OK
No of words: 281.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.32740213523 5.12529762239 123% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 4.2490209043 2.80592935109 151% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 176.041082164 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.725978647687 0.561755894193 129% => OK
syllable_count: 531.0 506.74238477 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.9 1.60771543086 118% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.3009229893 49.4020404114 195% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.636363636 106.682146367 152% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5454545455 20.7667163134 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.9090909091 7.06120827912 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317444105339 0.244688304435 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122869394154 0.084324248473 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.143803922826 0.0667982634062 215% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238652507739 0.151304729494 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.233225011653 0.056905535591 410% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.2 13.0946893788 162% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 20.72 50.2224549098 41% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 11.3001002004 147% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 19.73 12.4159519038 159% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.34 8.58950901804 132% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 78.4519038076 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.