Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary Discuss both view and give your own opinion

Essay topics:

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary.
Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

While some people believe that schools should put heavy emphasis on teaching academic courses because they would be beneficial for students' occupations in the future, others say that disciplines like music and sports are also of great importance. I side with the second view.

It can be said that the ultimate objective of most students is to get a highly remunerative job. To achieve this, students have to make sure that they have high scores in academic courses because nowadays, most universities and companies attach great importance to the performances of these subjects. Therefore, students put more effort and time into learning subjects like maths, physics, and chemistry. As a result, academic disciplines are compulsory in almost every school, while other non-academic subjects are ignored.

However, I believe that subjects such as music and physical education should not be completely excluded from schools' syllabus. While courses like maths and physics provide students with scientific knowledge, non-academic disciplines help cultivate students' interpersonal skills, which are of great importance to students' future careers. For instance, when children play team sports such as soccer, they would have to work together in order to defeat their opponents. Another example is that in Hanoi, students are encouraged to participate in sports and art activities at schools so that they can develop their creativity as well as cooperative skills.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that academic subjects should be prioritized at schools, however, I would contend that non-academic ones should not be overlooked due to their advantages for students' future jobs.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Essays by user kimtaeyeons :

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, look, second, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, as a result, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1425.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 256.0 315.596192385 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56640625 5.12529762239 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.20363070211 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86408583511 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 176.041082164 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.578125 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 441.9 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.2010868604 49.4020404114 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.545454545 106.682146367 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2727272727 20.7667163134 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.0 7.06120827912 170% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.333626251052 0.244688304435 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118721969083 0.084324248473 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0828395993336 0.0667982634062 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215457396765 0.151304729494 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0630461247807 0.056905535591 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 13.0946893788 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 50.2224549098 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.4159519038 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.