When a country develop its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out It is pointless to try and keep them alive To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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When a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the past fifty years, technology has brought a significant change to our lives. Some people believed that the development of technology will definitely result in the loss of traditional skills and ways of life, so it’s not worth preserving them, yet there still remains some arguments against this issue. Overall, it is my personal view that culture should indeed go along with the development of technology.

First of all, it is an indisputable fact that technology is intimately bound up with ways of life and civilisation. The majority of inventions today originated from the demand of peop...

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The majority of inventions today originated from the demand of people
The majority of inventions today is originated from the demand of people

wider range of geographical areas as well as that of foraging for information
Description: as well as == and

it's not worth preserving them
it's not worth to preserve them

Sentence: Even more importantly, though culture in general and traditional skills in particular facilitate the ways of technology's development.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to particular and facilitate

takes human even long period of time.
takes human even a long period of time.

Sentence: First of all, it is an indisputable fact that technology is intimately bound up with ways of life and civilisation.
Error: civilisation Suggestion: civilization

Sentence: It is admitted that the civilisation has to go through a long process and definitely include the inherit from the previous generation's achievement and advise.
Error: civilisation Suggestion: civilization

Sentence: The disapearance of traditional skills particularly good skills, therefore, will make technology cease to develop, otherwise takes human even long period of time.
Error: disapearance Suggestion: disappearance

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1675 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.138 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.013 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.33 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5