People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Based on people's past experiences, characteristics, and perspectives, the actions and behaviors they choose to take may differ in various ways. Even when we put two individuals in a same environment and make them go through a same process, the results may differ. Many factors are capable of influencing the decisions and actions people wish to pursue, and I believe that it depends on the individual whether which criteria would be more dominant than the other criteria.
For some people, external forces might be the predominant factor that influences their behavior. Especially for those who take other people's interest for their living such as celebrities or politicians. Their publicity is the key to their welfare and it can be diminished if they do not provide satisfaction to the public. For example, many Disney stars who started their career at a very young age claim that they suffered from many psychological diseases because they felt like they were loosing their own personality due to constant exposure to the public. They had to gratify the needs of the public such as unwillingly exposing nudity or behaving in ways that were opposite from their own personality. Because the public's interest was extremely essential for them, they had to choose their actions and behavior based on external forces.
On the contrary, those whose lives are not affected by how other people perceive them, have the free will to choose their actions based on their own making. I would like to mention Bill Gates as an example. He had attended a prestigious university in the past but decided to quit school in order to pursue his dream of founding his own company. Even though his friends and families objected with his decision, claiming that it might ruin his life and even only by graduating the university he was attending, it is well-known that he would be able to get employed in prodigious companies. However, he defied all external forces because he had faith in his own decision and decided to pursue with his dream. He is now known as the most rich person in the world, and has founded one of the world-wide companies, Google. If he had chosen his actions and behavior based on the external forces, he would not have been able to achieve what he has achieved now.
To sum up, there could be various criteria that can affect one's behavior and one criterion can dominate the other criteria depending on their environments, their characteristics, and their perspectives. However, even though external force may be a large determinant factor that can affect people's behavior, it may not be equitable to other people.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 18, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experiences'.
Suggestion: experiences
Based on peoples past experiences, characteristics, and perspectives, the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 60, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...uld be various criteria that can affect ones behavior and one criterion can dominate...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, well, for example, such as, on the contrary, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 33.0505617978 175% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2182.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 440.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95909090909 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74138771639 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515909090909 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1583037723 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.222222222 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4444444444 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.21951772744 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159301670369 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548590001254 0.0831039109588 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0353533166048 0.0758088955206 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0998890524444 0.150359130593 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0279129958819 0.0667264976115 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 18, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experiences'.
Suggestion: experiences
Based on peoples past experiences, characteristics, and perspectives, the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 60, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...uld be various criteria that can affect ones behavior and one criterion can dominate...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, well, for example, such as, on the contrary, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 33.0505617978 175% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2182.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 440.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95909090909 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74138771639 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515909090909 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1583037723 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.222222222 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4444444444 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.21951772744 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159301670369 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548590001254 0.0831039109588 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0353533166048 0.0758088955206 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0998890524444 0.150359130593 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0279129958819 0.0667264976115 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.