it is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Essay topics:

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is convienced that several people have to take risks in their occupation and personal lives. Personally, I am on the same page with this statement based on some reasons.
In the one hand, the main benefit is for developing themselves. It is because when some persons want to make a hard decision definitely with the high risk, it would create a brave character in the personal life. For instance, a male in the big city is forced by conditions to create a new business for helping his family but he knows that it has a huge risk to open a business in its place and at the end, he is not afraid to fail caused by his mentality. It means, a big decision in life making humans are grown up.
However, there are several drawbacks if citizens are on the different board with this problem. Firstly, people would get stuck in the same atmosphere. It is caused by they do not desire to choose a way that brings them to the worse situation but actually could change their lives. For example, many office workers did not have courage to earn money in another subject as they do not want to feel something more complicated so their conditions would be same from time to time. As result, they could not reach a higher income because of their pessimism and their finances would never be better. Secondly, many inhabitants are less experience as they do not have willingness to try new activities so they have a bit real story from their lives that could be an advice for others. As proof, a few staff in a company feel comfortable with their circumstances and did not want to attempt some businesses so they could not give some views for their partner for having a new venture. Thus, the people in this group are only having a role as minority who did not have a crucial impact in their circles.
To sum up where my track, the essensial role in work place could form by experiences while they could gain advantages from it to be a strong human by their hard decisions in their lives.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 517, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion in life making humans are grown up. However, there are several drawbacks if ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 756, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'advice'.
Suggestion: advice
...al story from their lives that could be an advice for others. As proof, a few staff in a ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 790, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun staff seems to be countable; consider using: 'few staffs', 'few staves'.
Suggestion: few staffs; few staves
...ld be an advice for others. As proof, a few staff in a company feel comfortable with thei...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 187, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...by their hard decisions in their lives.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1617.0 1615.20841683 100% => OK
No of words: 362.0 315.596192385 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.46685082873 5.12529762239 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45140337957 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527624309392 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 517.5 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.8844442708 49.4020404114 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.8 106.682146367 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1333333333 20.7667163134 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.66666666667 7.06120827912 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24429265889 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0812001513484 0.084324248473 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750904865927 0.0667982634062 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14422428524 0.151304729494 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480926030976 0.056905535591 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 50.2224549098 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 12.4159519038 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.58950901804 87% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 78.4519038076 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.