Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In the new world, parents are increasingly getting attracted and more involved in their children's education. Many parents try hard to increase their childrens grade and efficiency in their courses. Amoung these parrents there are many that spend much money on their children's education and there are also parents that set money as their children's prize for good grades. Althou they may not be aware that This kind of prize can be destructive for their children. I will furtherdisscuss the destructive effects of the money prize elaborately in the following paragraphs.
By giving children prize for every good grade, specially money, the will get used to it. Moreover they may abondon their educational efforts if they don't get money as a prize. I have an uncle that is too obssesed in his childs educations and he was used to give his children money as a prize for their good grades and good behaviours. On that time his childs were too conscencious in their studies. Once his children got older, their grade got extreamly decreased. I once asked one of his childs why you are not as intrested in your studies as you were childs?. He responded "in that time studying was much more fun, my dad used to appriciate my grades by prize". My uncle did enhance his children's grades once, but the consequence of his way of appriciating their effort was destructive. Therefore i believe the process of making a habit out of giving children money as prize is not good idea.
I remember one of our subjects for writing in elementry school was"which one is better?science or wealth?". I believe this widespread subject was meant to teach us something. The lesson is to not compare the value of science with wealth. But how can a child understand the science's value if the parents keep bribing him\her with money for his grades? He certainly doesn't pay enough attention to the great value of science. these kinds of childs will probably think about the science and knowledge as a mean to earn money out of it Therefore they will not get attracted to very concept of science and knowledge. As a result i beleive that parents are taking away the chance of getting geniunly involved in science from their childs.
As a conclusion, The money prize may not be as effective as it seems. parents must consider the probable destrictive effects of their deeds. By giving the childs money as their prize for good grades, not only the will get used to that money, but also will they understimate the value of science. Hence i strongly suggest that they consider a uncontinuous and unmonitory prize for their childs.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily. Use specific reasons and e 66
- Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? 70
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep rooms their neat and organized are more successful than those who do not. 83
- TPO 52 3
- TPO 48 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 89, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...ecially money, the will get used to it. Moreover they may abondon their educational effo...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 149, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ondon their educational efforts if they dont get money as a prize. I have an uncle t...
^^^^
Line 2, column 249, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to giving'.
Suggestion: used to giving
...sed in his childs educations and he was used to give his children money as a prize for their...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 799, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...riciating their effort was destructive. Therefore i believe the process of making a habit...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 809, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...their effort was destructive. Therefore i believe the process of making a habit o...
^
Line 3, column 364, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...g him\her with money for his grades? He certainly doesnt pay enough attention to the great value...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 374, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...with money for his grades? He certainly doesnt pay enough attention to the great value...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 433, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...ttention to the great value of science. these kinds of childs will probably think abo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 621, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... very concept of science and knowledge. As a result i beleive that parents are tak...
^^
Line 4, column 70, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
...ze may not be as effective as it seems. parents must consider the probable destrictive ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 296, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...they understimate the value of science. Hence i strongly suggest that they consider a...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 340, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...e i strongly suggest that they consider a uncontinuous and unmonitory prize for t...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, kind of, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2170.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 448.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84375 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72489336409 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455357142857 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 664.2 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.9069314448 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.8 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.92 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.88 5.45110844103 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331393596767 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100582364283 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0634564678418 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211116906093 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.046320008978 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.37 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.