The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the part of the application for small –business loan by a group of developers states that the jazz music club in the city of monroe is profitable. they support their positions by stating that there is no currently operating music club in the city of monroe, more than 1000,000 people participated in the annual music festival during summer, well known musicians are residents of the city of the monroe, and a typical jazz fan spends about $1000 per year. Outwardly, it seems plausible that the given argument is correct, however, upon closer scrutiny, it suffers from several flaws. For the better evaluation of the given argument, authors need to provide more evidence for the better evaluation of the given argument.
Firstly, authors hastily assume that after establishment of the jazz club in the city of the monroe, people shun to go to the nearest music club located at 65 kilometer away from the city of monroe. however, it might be possible that the [people prefer to go the nearest city than to their own city because people may need more isolated area for entertainment. Or, it might be possible that they continue to go to the nearest jazz music club because of their cheaper services. if this is true then authors argument is seriously weakened.
Secondly, authors assume that more than 1000,000 people attended the national annual jazz music festival so that they are surely attended the jazz music forever. however, it might be possible that they went to jazz music festival during the summer due to their vacation and are not actually not interested in jazz music. furthermore, they went to the jazz music festival because of the free entry and are not willing to pay money for the jazz entertainment. if this holds true, then, authors argument is severely weakened.
Last but not least, authors hastily assume that more well-known musician live in Monore so that more customers will attend their club. however, it might be possible that although they live in monroe, but work in the other music club in the others city. furthermore, due to the involvement of the well-known musicians their cost is significantly increased and because of high entry fees, only limited number of the people attended their music club. if this happens true, then the authors conclusions will be undermined.
In a nutshell, authors make conclusions based upon several unwarranted assumptions, as a result, the truth of the given argument is limited. For the better evaluation of the given argument, authors need to provide more pieces of evidences (based upon scientific study) so that the reliability of the given argument can be increased.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
more arguments wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2144 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.862 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.504 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 29.703 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.427 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.659 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 151, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ub in the city of monroe is profitable. they support their positions by stating that...
^^^^
Line 5, column 160, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'kilometer' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'kilometers'.
Suggestion: kilometers
...to the nearest music club located at 65 kilometer away from the city of monroe. however, ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 200, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...kilometer away from the city of monroe. however, it might be possible that the [people ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 239, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
... however, it might be possible that the [people prefer to go the nearest city tha...
^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...club because of their cheaper services. if this is true then authors argument is s...
^^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...club because of their cheaper services. if this is true then authors argument is s...
^^
Line 9, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...surely attended the jazz music forever. however, it might be possible that they went to...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 322, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
... actually not interested in jazz music. furthermore, they went to the jazz music festival b...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 459, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...o pay money for the jazz entertainment. if this holds true, then, authors argument...
^^
Line 13, column 136, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... more customers will attend their club. however, it might be possible that although the...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 254, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...he other music club in the others city. furthermore, due to the involvement of the well-kno...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 449, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...f the people attended their music club. if this happens true, then the authors con...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2216.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02494331066 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62234285343 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.410430839002 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.38131008 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.111111111 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94444444444 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276978573912 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106735038434 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122186525743 0.0701772020484 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16296711421 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0899987804481 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.